01.04.2024

I have to finish various pieces of music at a trade fair for advertising. I go clothes shopping with N. He says it’s the same mistake as with M. We have to pay for the clothes we ordered to try on. I continue working on the music in the car on a big iPad. Someone arrives and I make room. I look out and see that we’re in Tervuren. I put the things with leftovers into a plastic bag. We don’t have to pay for the clothes after all.

02.04.2024

I’m with R., we want to make music together.

Then I am travelling with Y. I want to take her back to the hotel from a cinema. We’re walking through a foreign city. We can’t find the hotel. It’s dark and we’re running down a huge flight of stairs. I hover just above the steps and push myself off briefly with my hands. There are buildings in the vaults. We are still looking for the hotel beginning with the letter K. I let two men pass in front of us in a passageway.

Y. does some maths that makes no sense.

Then Y. stands on a stage, she is dark-skinned. She’s playing a small part for Rammstein. I say that I rehearse in the same rehearsal room as Rammstein. H. is in my studio. C. can bear it. H. has sung. It’s very great. The chorus is sung slightly offset. The music is relatively fast. I don’t know how to behave with H. She has a toy gun in her hands and is pointing it at me. I spread my arms and show her that she should shoot. Then she holds the gun under her chin. I tell her not to do it. It’s dusty and dirty under my table because something was there before. C. comes and I wonder how I should behave. Then I play bass, improvise, play better and better and with such virtuosity that I fly. Then I want to play the song “Junge komm bald wieder” with my father. I look for the sheet music on an old screen with a television connected to it. Then I want to drive to Dorfmark. I see that the motorway is full and stop on a green strip where the car is skidding. A. gets in the car. I search for another route on Google maps, but it doesn’t show the traffic jam that I can see from up here.

03.04.2024

I’m making music along a river. Am I in Venice? But I can’t make the music properly in the river, I can’t find any hold and drift away. I put the music over the picture later. The sound is too dense, I have to delete some tracks and thin out the sound. As I prepare everything for the mix, I hear the voice over. I find it strange.

I go to the toilet. My penis is small and retracted. Very yellow urine drips over the toilet onto the floor and runs down the other side to the girls’ toilet. It’s morning and two girls in bikinis enter the bathroom next door. They don’t seem to notice my yellow urine. I wash my face in a sink and can see the girls through an opening. Maybe they see me too and find me attractive? A small child is sitting outside in the corridor. There are adults around him, marvelling at him.

I’m in the mountains and want to go for a run. I realise that I’m wearing my street shoes and jeans. So I go back to change. My father and another man are there. We talk about my father, say that he’s a tough negotiator and can’t be trusted. The name “Mikey” comes up. But then I want to say that my father is a person with the highest moral standards. I put on a pair of shorts and look for the socks. I only find one and a pair of tights. Then I see that I’m still wearing my street shoes. I find my mother’s socks. They have something in them that I take out. The socks smell.

I lose a small tooth. Now I have a small gap at the back. I look at the tooth and ask myself whether I should throw it away now. C. and I are then invited to a quiz in the mountains to see if we now have psychic abilities. There are questions on cards. C. starts and I ask if I can listen or if that would affect my result. I notice that you can see the whole panorama of the mountains from where we are. Not just 180 degrees. My cousins are there. One of them seems old and a bit disabled. Then I’m in a restaurant with my mother and mother-in-law. My mother sits down with another lady. I ask for pens and scribble furiously on a picture for R. Afterwards, I apologise to the waitress for ruining the refills. My mother says it’s typical of me to apologise to the waitress when it was actually her pens. I take the paper off and stick it back on to write “Familie Kuby” in Flemish.

04.04.2024

Something has to be ready at a certain time. I’m waiting for two people and get into a heated argument with C. So heated that we almost grab each other in the face. One person is there and we have to go and get the other. Then I’m with my brother. A man has cassettes with him. The man’s suitcase flips open and papers fall out. Are they mine? The man reassures me and says they’re not mine. I learn that the tapes are supposed to become invalid like cryptocurrency. I open a guitar case. Inside is a very old folk guitar. I show it to J. He says it’s beautiful. Someone has one just like it. The guitar now looks more like a cello. The neck is carved.

There’s a machine outside, like a sausage machine. We push something through it. I find a huge axe, drop it on a piece of wood and it cuts right through. R. wants to take it with him. I make music for G. He gives me corrections. I have to do something else first. I can add piano at the beginning. I need tomatoes for that. A cat grabs my hand. My laptop no longer has a screen. The cables are cut. I work without seeing. Terrorists are coming. I should have fled with my family much earlier. We try to hide. I keep walking along the Landwehr Canal. There are lots of people there. Smoke is coming out of a tall building. I keep running with a man. I get stuck in the mud but manage to pull myself up.

Then I sit at a long table. A rhythm is tapped and goes round the table. When it reaches me, I’m tapping on glasses with a knife and fork. 6 taps, I’m not sure about the last one. There are children sitting in front of me. One of them is drinking alcohol. I hit it lightly in the face. C. says I shouldn’t do that. I go on with J. and someone else. They want to drink Duvel. I say it’s my favourite beer. I know a way to get further and climb under a metal pole into a building.

I find myself in a swimming pool where I wash myself in the pool. I take soap and wash my hair with it, then my anus. Green faeces fall into the water. All around me. Everywhere. I stay calm and try to rinse the green faeces off with water. It slowly runs into the water. I hope it doesn’t drift into the deep pool but goes under.

05.04.2024

I’m in a large bakery and ask for marzipan with chocolate. The shop assistant asks me what my name is. Someone says it, doesn’t find it at first, then does. I go to pay. It costs 115 or 150 and I find it very expensive. Then I’m first in a room with K. and two others, then with a whole group in the bathroom. Finally I’m alone and wash my hair. The foam makes it feel thick and firm. A woman comes in. She is naked. Her face isn’t pretty but she has a very nice body. I stand under the shower and drain the water to run fresh water in for the woman. She gets into the bath and I tell myself not to get an erection. I have a bit of trouble closing the drain again. The woman asks me if I’m leaving already or if I want to stay a little longer. She asks me in French if I want to squeeze into the corner. I think why not. She talks about a film she has seen and so have we as a group. The bathroom reminds me of the bathroom from my childhood.

06.04.2024

H. has disappeared and comes back as someone else. We earn twice as much. She doesn’t want to be found and hides. How will she be recognised? By her socks? L. sees her and tries to track her down. I’m wearing sportswear with shorts and Django is coming. We don’t walk any further so I can change. But I’m still wearing my shorts. I’m on a journey with A. They get on my nerves with what they say. A. too. I think it’s about a rucksack. A. asks me what my therapist will say about it. My therapist? I won’t see him on the journey. We wait for the suitcases. My suitcase is half empty. They’ve taken out the black sports bag. A woman is pulling it like on a market trolley. My pants are still in the side. I see photos of D. Someone has taken stylised pictures of her and enlarged her breasts. She looks like a vampire. The others are still annoying me with their chatter. It’s obnoxious. I can’t take it. I should hold back but I can’t. A. keeps asking me questions.

07.04.2024

Two houses. They are pushed together to make it look better. Two double doors are now above the driveway. My mother goes to the people and talks to them very directly.

Preparations are being made for a wedding, with a dildo and they arrange a sign so she can say yes.

We are invited to the wedding. The roof is leaking. I go to the rooftop with someone. It’s dusty, the air is bad. Our nice clothes will get dirty. Someone comes up and I scare the person.

We decide to repair the leak in the roof ourselves. We need new beams and have to check the foil nailed to it for holes. We have two weeks.

08.04.2024

I only buy one thing in a supermarket. Outside in the car park, I approach a dark-skinned man in a light-coloured suit. I pretend to pour out two empty teapots. Some liquid actually comes out. I apologise but the man says it’s no big deal. He takes me to a large hall. He wants me to buy tea bags there. I float around and then fly quickly through the large, high-ceilinged room. I can see a symbolic portal. I fly and fly. Then I look for C. N. and Y. are sitting in our old Mercedes. N. skids the car. I tell her to watch out but she skilfully glides just past the wall. C. has been to a healer. She’s supposed to take two remedies. I’m still looking for tea. Then I cut my beard and my hair. Accidentally too short. In the mirror I see myself with a bald head, longer hair on the sides and half a moustache with a few long hairs at the bottom of my neck. Using an undo function, I get my old hair and beard cut back.

09.04.2024

It’s about football. The players should constantly move around the pitch in training and learn new positions. I’m developing the new tactics for the new season with X. Alonso. It’s a new approach.

I see a flat at the top from below, where I want to work and live. It’s C.‘s flat. Then it’s the flat below that I can use. The flat shifts slightly and is now slightly offset. I jump through a room and float up a staircase through the room. I can study there. The players too. C. does the exercises too. It’s kind of sexual and pleasurable and OK. In my childhood garden we play football and practise the positions.

10.04.2024

I’m waiting for a beautiful woman to lie down in a bed with me. She will masturbate me. There is someone else in the bed. Until the woman comes, I masturbate myself. My cock is hard and long. But I don’t come. I lie all the way on the side of the bed, which is too small, so I’ll probably fall out during the night. The others talk about the quality of the mattress. Now I’m lying in a photo exhibition. There are spectators. Lying down, I move as if by myself. Everything is in black and white.

11.04.2024

With people. A party and a meal. Through the night. Tired.

12.04.2024

A concert is taking place outside. I’m standing right opposite the mixing desk and signalling that the voice should be made louder. I move a lamp so that the light flickers dramatically. Afterwards, they say it was too strong in one song. I think when you do something, you become vulnerable.

The full moon rises next to the sun. I lie down on the ground under things I’ve been carrying. I think it’s Indian territory, with buffalo. I can feel it in the ground. As if drunk, I try to sleep on the ground under my stuff in the sun. Then I put my things away. Where can I put the children’s toys?

13.04.2024

I am wearing large boxer shorts and want to change my trousers for work. One that I can get dirty. A woman is watching me and I hope that my underwear is not too wide. I try on a pair of trousers that are too tight, then another pair of torn light-blue-coloured jeans. They are also tight around the calves but are wide enough. I’m late, I’ve spent the night sleeping comatose in a car without knowing where I am. I’m late and start walking. There’s a big mosaic on the floor that can be coloured in. My brother is not well. I’m behind Mauerpark with my mother and she’s talking about herself. I tell her that now is not the time for that. I have to look after my brother. I find him upstairs in an office building. He’s talking to someone in Spanish. My brother is completely depressed as he has bought a lot of wine which is subject to unexpectedly high taxes. I tell him it’s no big deal and try to comfort him.

14.04.2024

We put on a play in the cellar of my childhood home. Then a second time. I lie on the floor and cry a lot. C. thinks I’m exaggerating. At the end of the play there’s no applause at first, then a few people clap. I lift myself off the floor with my arms to stretch. Then I try a few press-ups. M. is watching me. I think he must see the tension in my body. I manage to relax in a few places in my back. But I can’t do the press-ups. I put the sheets of paper of the piece in a transparent folder and write the title on a piece of masking tape. At first I think the tape is too small. But then it somehow fits.

15.04.2024