01.03.2024
02.03.2024
03.03.2024
I need to re-frame pictures for an order. I have reassembled them on the computer but the dimensions are not correct.
04.03.2024
I’m tidying up the cellar. A neighbour has made parcels and bouquets. I put them up.
05.03.2024
My father as a young man. He has to sell silver. I think he only got rich later.
06.03.2024
I’m holding a pen. There are settings on it that need to be written down as tablature. Two other people are there and I write down the settings afterwards.
07.03.2024
I’m with G. He wants me to do the string sound like in another project I was working on.
08.03.2024
I’m with my mother. There is water in a tray with something in it.
09.03.2024
I see R. at a party. He’s sitting alone. I go to him and R. joins us. We’re all wearing black suits. J. Malkovich enters and introduces himself to everyone. He walks past me. I actually want to make music with R. again, but I can’t tell him. I go to the toilet. I have something in my mouth that I can’t get out. I go back to the bar but can’t find the stairs downstairs at first. I meet R. again. He asks me if he made the music with me or with someone else. A name with three letters. I say that he made the music with me. He talks about a massive setup with another musician, something to synchronise. I still can’t manage to tell him that I want to make music with him again.
10.03.2024
I make music for someone. They are happy. I meet two women in a small Asian restaurant. One speaks French, the other another language, which I also speak. I speak to them directly in their languages. They want to offer me beer and cola. I say that I don’t drink alcohol. They then pour me a salty mineral drink. I go out and come back to wait for the women. Someone comes out and is tired. He is a chef and I make jokes about his working conditions. Outside, someone is singing words without vowels. He does it perfectly and I’m amazed that someone would invest so much time in something like this. We’re playing soccer but nobody is defending properly. There are too few defenders. There are dogs that can sing. Microphones are being held to their throats.
11.03.2024
C. and I get two mobile phones for less in a shop. I see someone (C.?) picking up the mobile phones. But I pretend not to see it. We get them handed to us. C. stands up and thanks them. I wonder how they will justify the difference in the missing amount in the register.
12.03.2024
13.03.2024
I float through the air to my flat. F. is in the flat with a woman. She has been flirting with me. I float through the flat and see her coming out of the bathroom. I hide behind a corner. Then I float through the corridor with two sleeping bags. I think I’ve floated too early, she might see me. But I get to the front door unseen. When I pull it shut, I see that someone has tried to break in. The wood is splintered at the lock.
14.03.2024
M. is practising skateboarding on a street. He skates underneath something into a bend. He’s already doing it well. I’m thinking: you have to be fast to have fun, but you could also fall and hurt yourself.
15.03.2024
I’m walking alongside a jazz musician. The music is weird but I find it so good that I have to laugh. I talk to H. He gives me tapes and singles. Unfortunately, I no longer have my father’s tape recorder. But the music sounds so amazing and I want to get some good second-hand speakers.
At the airport I am waiting for boarding. Someone gets up and everyone follows. We get our suitcases. I wonder if I have speedy boarding? My family is already on the plane. Will there be space for my luggage? I walk past a stage where a band is doing the sound check. Strange, I think, what band does a sound check in front of an audience? At the back of the stage, the Mexican singer’s two children are trying to hide. The singer sees them. I put my suitcase down to look for my passport. I crush a banana. There’s a woman next to me, she picks up something I’ve dropped. I say thank you. My passport has expired but someone has handwritten on it that it is still valid until December. I wonder if it will still be valid for my trip to America. Then I remember that I have already ordered and picked up a new one.
16.03.2024
I pour something into three containers of different sizes. I hold one container in my hand and spill some hot water over my hand. I don’t burn myself. Somebody is watching me.
17.03.2024
I’m at primary school with the teacher F. There’s a race where the slow ones have to run more laps. My mother is there too.
18.03.2024
Martin Gore is in his father’s house, which he has taken over. It’s in Colorado. Dave Gahan is there. He is young, a teenager with black hair that sticks out. M. Gore talks about his new music, which is minimal to leave room for Dave Gahan’s vocals. O. is by the sea. He seems to have a house there. I see waves breaking on small cliffs in the sun. I ask O. if there isn’t a house there for me. He sends me a photo of his notes, which are full of spelling mistakes and crossed-out words.
I go into a house because I have to go to the toilet. I’ve been here before. I find a bathroom next to the parents’ bedroom. Can I use it? My cousin C. is sitting in the next room, looking after his child who is sleeping in another room. His wife has also gone to bed.
19.03.2024
I meet a woman with curly hair. She stands close to me. C. can see us. It’s OK. I touch the woman’s arm. Outside, I’m putting together a cardboard drawer. A screw nut is missing. A. arrives. He’s had his hair cut. A bit too short. I ask him if I should trim my beard. He says something about my thinning hair, but doesn’t say the right word. He finds a screw nut on the floor and gives it to me. We are in the south of France. The woman with the curly hair comes with her friend. I greet them both with a kiss. They react less closely than expected. The woman with the curly hair is wearing a T-shirt with my name on it. J. arrives. I ride down a steep slope on a bike. It’s steeper than expected, but I stay on the bike. We set up our instruments for a rehearsal in a cellar. The woman with the curly hair is also there with her friend. I play a few chords and notes on my guitar. But not very well.
20.03.2024
21.03.2024
I’m together with G. We’ve founded a company that doesn’t have a name yet. We go outside. I grind my teeth, they wobble. I know the feeling. I spit out some gritted teeth into a bowl in a church. Fortunately, you can’t see the gaps between my teeth.
23.03.2024
The death of my parents. My mother is already dead and I am walking on a path with my father. He knows he’s going to die. Too soon. I ask myself if I’ve done everything right. I go through the death of the parents of a woman. I write things down and make jokes as if she thinks badly of her parents.
I’m with my brother. I attach my bike to his car with a hook. I’m a bit scared, then I fly over the car on a rope. I call my brother to look at me. We drive over a small stone ramp onto a beach. There are people sunbathing in front of us. On the left of the beach are large rocks. Someone recommends we buy them. I wonder if it makes sense, as we no longer have a house on Menorca. I see the moon like an animation from my film and tell C. that I’d like to show it to my mother now.
24.03.2024
I’m at a funeral. J. is there with her family. I’m arguing with C. The woman who died was in a film. She also sang on one of my tracks for the film. I edit the voice. It’s mine and the woman’s. I say something about GEMA and how they charge. J. explains it to me. I go through a door and a double door is opened next to it for the coffin. We walk back to the hotel. Two dogs are running across a meadow and playing. J. is somehow short tempered. C. is no longer with us.
25.03.2024
I continue writing my book about Trophäe. Thinking about whether the name is still good or whether I should change it. I’m in a house. In one room, V. is playing music for a radio programme. He’s depressed and I joke that we could start drinking alcohol again. I go to a room at the back and play two chords on a piano. The second chord fails a little, but doesn’t sound wrong. I go outside and ride a motorbike across a street. A VW Beetle hits me very gently from behind and I drive on. I come back. R. is now playing the radio programme. It’s his second show, but it’s about to be cancelled. I had heard the music on the radio, go to R. and encourage him that the music and programme are good. I ask why it is to be cancelled. There are other people there too.
26.03.2024
I go to a sauna after arguing with Y. I take a dinghy. Normally I moor on the right, but this time I turn left. At the top I see a man with thinning hair who is having his wife shave off his hair. He is pouring coffee into two cups that are overflowing with foam. I get out of the boat and take a spray can of hair restorer out of my bag. I hide it under a plastic sheet on the boat so that nobody can see it. I would be embarrassed. Above, I see a young woman. I try to recognise her breasts under her blouse. She takes a few steps back. I cross a square and call Y. so she doesn’t worry after our argument. I tell her that I’ve cleaned everything and everything is fine. I continue walking across the square, next to the woman I’ve been watching. Then I walk straight through a group coming towards me. It gets pitch black and I can no longer see the steps up to the sauna. When I reach the top, I see an erotic establishment next to the sauna. There is a restaurant inside. It looks a bit ordinary. An old woman with sunglasses and dressed in vinyl leather is sitting at a table. She is probably an old dominatrix. One of the two waitresses says something about a meal she is serving. It’s not what it looks like, it’s probably sperm.
I’m in a boat. I can’t sleep. I wake up and drink a beer to relax. I search for Nick Cave’s website on a computer. But I can’t find it. I see a photo of him with his wife. It’s a double exposure. The two of them over the sea. Strangely, N. Cave is wearing shorts and a coat. I can’t see under his trousers. Their feet disappear in the double exposure. I look up out of the boat and see a man’s tattooed arm behind a window. I’m lucky I’m not masturbating, otherwise he would have been able to see me. I’m stressed, thinking that I can’t drink beer in the morning after all. In the mirror I see that someone cut my hair. It’s also been bleached blonde, but it’s yellow. There’s a bit of hair standing out at the back. I’ll go to a different hairdresser next time.
27.03.2024
I meet H. again after a long time. There are lots of people there. I can act out my pain well, like in a performance. S. tells me that I’m a good musician after all. With H., I’m like in a performance. I play my true feelings distorted by pain. I carry H. on my shoulders. Then I walk through a forest, climb a slope. Another man in front of me.
28.03.2024
I’m with N. at an agency for commercials. There’s a job and I’m wondering whether Massive or 86T should do it. I’m trying to position myself for the job. Even if I’m not sure what to do and whether I can do it. Others are coming in. We are at a big table. A man gives me his huge motionless hand. He seems to be the boss and checks whether his employees are motivated. I’m only wearing my underwear and wonder what N. thinks of this. A construction worker comes out of a cabin and takes his second line of cocaine from a box lying on the floor. N. and I are puzzled.
29.03.2024
A woman uses a device with a wire to cut a large slice of cheese. The woman is naked and erotic. When she has cut off the piece of cheese, she holds it rolled up like a penis.
30.03.2024
31.03.2024
My mother is in a hospital or nursing home. I speak to the doctor and tell her to keep the memory of Brussels alive, that makes my mother happy.