01.08.2024
I take the car to be repaired but then keep it to take a small baby somewhere.
02.08.2024
03.08.2024
04.08.2024
I speak to a taxi driver so that he can get rid of his problems. One of his father’s safes is underground. We are in a room that looks like an underground flat. The man is trying to break the safe’s lock with a tool. I say we should rename the taxi company, a name with “freedom” in it. But my idea does not go down too well. I go to an exhibition and pay at the ticket office for two adults and a child. The shop assistant has a big Afro. She is also the manager of a famous choreographer. I have to pay a bit more, I thought to myself. I look at a catalogue, which is very expensive. There are also four Badeecker travel guides. I say that my father has collected them. I am asked if there are also travel guides about countries he has not travelled to. I say I think he has travelled to all the countries. I dive underwater and hold up a coin, laughing underwater. The woman thinks it is funny too, but we should not make so much noise. I put the catalogue back again. It slides off and I put it on a surface. Then I walk through the exhibition of digital AI art from Africa. C. finds me and wants a coffee. I go into a room and put a filter into a coffee machine. I am not actually allowed in here. But C. wants a coffee anyway. She says that the sound I have made is not right. Then I prepare an exhibition. A. thinks the text is good and not good. I keep laughing as if in preparation for an operation. A.’s jacket has the name D. written on it.
05.08.2024
All my instruments and my camera are in a transporter. Everything is neatly packed. Someone wants to watch TV, D.? I want to get my TV out of the lorry for him. I run through the city past the police. Am I allowed to run that fast? I want to take my camera out because it could be stolen. The openings at the back of the lorry are now lower and easier to access. F. has a lock to secure them better.
06.08.2024
I am supposed to improvise with someone for a show. They tell me the name but I do not know if it is a man or a woman. I see a man and wonder if it is him, but he does not say anything to me. I go out and see the man there again. I think that I would like to improvise with a man. I meet F. and tell him that I am not that sexual any more and that I do not want to sleep with just anyone. He says I am a pussy or a cunt. I understand what he means, that I do not take the initiative. Outside a child is sitting in an old sports car, drawing and scribbling on the leather seats with a green felt tip pen. I get the child out and look for the parents. A man comes out of a coffee shop. He looks kind of strange but he is not the father. I cannot find the parents and check whether the child has nappies on. I hold him tight, almost aggressively. I do not want this child. I move the car and touch a tyre on the wall. N. is there. It starts to rain and I wonder whether my electronic instruments are getting wet or if they are protected by an overhang. I am missing a cable and when I come back I play a loop on the guitar. I play too long for the loop until it works. I put the guitar back on the floor, not in the stand, so I can reach the bass and the piano better. I talk to the performer who eats very healthily. I tell someone else that they should stop smoking. I talk about another performance from the day before. I continue playing my guitar. A Black musician says it is good. I go outside and roll an object over my head. A tuft of hair gets caught in the roll.
07.08.2024
An adult man and two young people have cocaine. He or I do not want to take it. It is too exhausting. But I am supposed to bring the boy the cocaine that is hidden in a toilet. I cannot see it properly, reach into the toilet cubicle and find the package. I fish it out. The father of one of the boys comes down. I am lying on the floor. What will the father think when he sees me like this with the two teenagers? One of the boys asks for the cocaine by asking for a USB stick. They smoke a joint.
08.08.2024
Someone prepares a toilet seat so that it is electrified in order to kill someone. I am in the next room when E. goes to the bathroom. I know he is going to die. They want it to look like a suicide. I hear the electric shock. The light goes out in his flat. He must be dead now. The brother goes into the bathroom and is supposed to find a fake goodbye letter. I go out with the brother. Someone criticises him. I say he is having a hard day and should be treated kindly. He explains how the eye works like a small pair of binoculars. He holds a woman’s face relatively brutally to show how the eye functions.
09.08.2024
I am with others and play music with a bow on a small board with a string. After a while the string breaks and I continue playing with the bow on the board. I play too loudly. Then again. I tap out a simple beat with the bow. It is supposed to be minimally weird and it sounds good. I wake up and have a hangover. I accidentally drank champagne yesterday. I had forgotten that I no longer drink alcohol. I try to tell myself it is no big deal. Still, I have broken my three year abstinence.
10.08.2024
A wedding party is taking place outside where one by one we ask people to say something about the bride and groom. I meet M. He tells me about a very special illness he has. I listen to him worriedly and attentively. He is very tall and towers over me. I want to ask him when he became so much taller but continue listening to him.
11.08.2024
12.08.2024
I’m walking along a street in Darmstadt. Faeces run down me, a long sausage. I try to shake it off so that nobody sees it. I have to go back to the flat. My father is there. He needs a new desk. I suggest he uses a black table top like the one on my desk. He can then have it framed in the wood of his own desk. I take a shower and check whether the blanket I’ve been wearing around me has touched any of the faeces. Then I put my trousers back on. I show my father my new favourite pen. It is different from his golden pen. Then I drive off in a car. The car park is blocked. A. arrives with a woman who says goodbye to me and wishes me a happy new year. Already? I hadn’t recognised her before and even now I don’t know who she is. U. plays on a grand piano for an online audience. Then I announce a possible encore for the audience here, although I have not even done my soundcheck yet. U. wants to change something in our music. I walk through a labyrinth of set-up panels.
13.08.2024
P. runs up a wall by a radiator and touches something under the ceiling. I try to imitate him, run across the room and jump up to the top in one leap. There is no big cheer. I look again and realise I didn’t make it all the way to the top. Then I’m in a hospital where I visit N.. There are many other girls. Behind the house is a small garden with freshly planted trees. It is dark. Two of the trees have not been planted in line. By me? I want to move them. Someone else is there but doesn’t want to help. Maybe I only need to move one of the small new trees.
14.08.2024
I meet M. She looks good. I tell her but she doesn’t return my compliment. What does she think about my bald head? C. knows we’re talking but she shouldn’t mind.
15.08.2024
16.08.2024
I’m with Nick Cave but I forget to tell him that I’m also a musician. I thank him and then I’m in a flat. There I’m on the phone with a woman who has forgotten who I am. It doesn’t matter. I just wanted to help her and at the same time have the chance to get back in touch with Nick Cave. Then I have a performance with U. but the piano is missing. I offer her my Rhodes piano. I record a loop into my pedal. We pack up. U. is worried that there is no mixer. I tell her to calm down. She says I always get upset, which I don’t. I stay cool. She drives off even though I haven’t collected all my things from the hotel yet. She’s in another car. I call her but she can’t hear me because I’m pressing the phone against my neck. I tell her I have to return to the hotel because my room is still open and I left things there. Someone else is at the wheel and we drive back.
17.08.2024
I’m making music for F. He says the cabin I’m in is like the one from Hannibal Lecter. I see myself in a mirror, bare-chested and wearing a hat. The skin around my stomach is old. I can’t go down like this.
18.08.2024
I buy a pair of headphones while travelling. The salesman speaks Flemish. He is the best salesman. I come every year. C. is waiting in line, on a boat or car with my mother. We still have to go to the Forêt de Soignes. Further along on the journey, I make a large collage for an advert. I draw like a child, houses with square and round windows, some artistically scribbled. Plus colourful candles. Then I go into a room. A producer asks if anyone can make sound. A boy and I volunteer. The producer thought I was on holiday. I say I’m always working. I go back to my room and continue pasting colourful things, including a toy boat. It looks great but is that what they want? I go outside but can’t find my way. I search for the email with the producer’s number but can’t find it. I walk up through a city into rooms that feel like a university.
19.08.2024
20.08.2024
A child reads aloud. A man welds mats together with a blowtorch. A former stage.
21.08.2024
Special type of sound effects. A different genre. I’m worried that I only have this one fountain pen.
22.08.2024
A mass shooting. There was a fight beforehand. Afterwards I carry a child through a house. The fight had nothing to say. There is a safe room in the house. I explain to the child that it is only safe until the police arrive. The house reminds me of my parents’ flat in Brussels. The child is big and, as always, wants to be carried. Two employees from Bubbles Film are waiting at the entrance and want me to take them upstairs. I explain to them that it is good to work with others but also alone. Two security guards are there because of the shooting. Outside there is a party. My brother has built a circle out of different stones. Something moves or flies over the stones and picks up the rhythm. The beat is amazingly precise. Afterwards the stones are to be sold. Which one should I take? A stone of the melody? Then there is a speech by or for my mother. Everyone has to wear red or orange shirts. I put on a black jacket over it. In a small adjoining room there is a French bistro. My brother wants to eat there later. It must be expensive. A young lady is standing in front of it.
23.08.2024
24.08.2024
I cast off in a large boat. Next to it floats a rubber dinghy with H. smoking a cigarette. Next to it is another boat. I still have to transport things. Two large pushcarts are waiting. Someone tells me to put the big bag on the woman’s trolley. F. is there and we cook together. I sleep in the kitchen. People come in. Outside I meet R. and think we should release a record and find new film music jobs. I share something with my brother. He then says he wants to go somewhere else, to the Faroe Islands. I feel cheated, now I have to stay with what I got and did not really want. I do push-ups in a meadow. It is very easy for me but somehow I do not do them correctly. Then I want to make a video clip for C. on the football pitch. I turn my camera around her, very unstable. I see another figure in the darkness with stripes on her clothes glowing in neon light. I think that I should dress C. in white and shoot her in the centre of the field in neon light. I meet the man who also wants to shoot a video clip, probably the one with the person with the neon stripes. We want to show each other our clips when they are finished. I want to give him my business card. I have to fumble in my wallet for a long time. Too long, I think. Is it a good idea to give him my music business card when it is a video work?
25.08.2024
26.08.2024
Police stop us in America. They suspect my wife. One of the policemen asks if I know Kanye’s new track. I do not. The atmosphere with the police is relaxed. I say that we were not there at 3 o’clock. A plant with thorns gets caught in my hair. I smoke a cigarette. The police leave. I put on Kanye’s song and recognise it. I knew the track. He probably used a preset from Omnisphere for it. I think the arpeggiator could have been used for another sound. The police come back. Kanye’s track is still playing and I want to tell the policeman that I do know the track. An older man points to the ashes on the floor next to his dog and asks if I have been smoking. I say yes and tell him that I will not do it again. A Russian woman comes up to me. She is a big fan of my music. Next to her is her friend who tells me that I have not kept my promise to share my website. I tell her the address: christianmeyermusic.com and the Russian woman writes my name with spacing. I tell her she has to write it in one word. The friend continues to criticise me and I say that I have always defended other people and stood up for them. She says that is not the point. I am waiting for my wife and our daughters. What will C. think when she sees the fan hugging me so tightly. I am getting a sore throat and think it is good that we are going to a sauna later.
27.08.2024
I follow behind S. and others in the car. They take an exit and I lose sight of them. I drive very fast to catch up with them, passing a speed camera. Did it flash me. I did not see anything. Otherwise it must be very expensive. 4000 dollars. I drink a beer in the morning and ride my bike. Someone accompanies me. I ride unsafely because I am slightly drunk, change lanes and continue on a wide cycle path. I arrive at J. and S.’s with C. They have children who do not want to sleep and will not calm down. In a workshop I put chains in a fire and then lay them on stones to burn a pattern into them. J. says it is price class B because he helped a bit. I complain that everything is too expensive. C. says she does not recognise me when I complain about the payment. It makes me uncomfortable. But now it is said. The children are still not asleep.
28.08.2024
My wife and I are with J. He is normally bald but now he is sitting in front of us with a full head of black hair. He must have had a hair transplant or something similar. I tell him that it suits him. C. signals to me that I should not talk about it. But J. takes it well. Now I see that the back of his scalp is still showing a bit. It looks a bit strange. He thinks I only have a small thinning patch and offers me the rest of his hair solution. I have to dilute it to one per cent. I go to the toilet where W. had been before. Only a small amount of faeces comes out. It does not need to be diluted further.
29.08.2024
I am on the beach with N. and help him to sit down. He tells me something. I then go into a room. I hear workers in a neighbouring room. I am very sleepy and look worn out. I go into the back room and when I come back the workers greet me and say that I look exhausted. I tell them I did not drink a bottle of wine. Outside there is a race. I take Y. to a small car. I stand on the edge so as not to be in the way. The cars at the front start too early and then stop again. The others count down. Then the race starts. I walk back through the streets of a village.
30.08.2024
I am with N. I wanted to keep playing for her but she is waiting for me to leave. C. arrives and has to go in a different direction. We pack up. I lie on my stomach and hope that N. will sit on my back. Then I see C. lying between N.’s legs and posing like in a sex scene. A man is lying there too. M. I laugh embarrassed. N. is lying on her back, skinny, covering her breasts with one arm.
I go into an electronics shop with my brother. There is a machine or suit that is supposed to keep you young. There is also an older model of a woman. This model can twirl her hair so that the name of the machine appears in it. The salesperson asks which machine we like best.
31.08.2024
I want to go to the boat but I am travelling with others. It is still dark and I walk to the Hudson River. J. walks past me. I ignore him. I am annoyed that I did not go to the boat straight away. The sun is rising and it is beautiful. I can see the water running up the Hudson. There is J. again. I greet him now. A. is with him. A. has a strange beard that sticks out on his cheeks.
I sit at a table. A cowboy comes in and shoots in my direction. I am not afraid. He does not want to hit me. He walks on and shoots randomly. Then he takes care of the lawn. We go to the bushes together. Then I sit with a family next to mine at a table in a restaurant outside. The family is eating fish. The waiter comes to our table and prepares the same meal as the other family. It contains a sauce that is very spicy or makes you want to go to the toilet. Is it the brown or the white sauce. The waiter speaks Spanish. I speak fluently with him.